Spiritual Psychology

I recently enjoyed this post from Lynn's Process Notes: When Psychotherapy becomes Executive Coaching. She writes:

Ordinarily (but not always) my patients' Axis II (bonafide mental disorders) dissolve with treatment. Then I become an executive coach. Patients don't want to leave "therapy" even when I tell them there is nothing wrong with them. They like the coach arrangement, the career building or relationship support that I provide for them.

I have often wrestled with the following ethical issue: Should a therapist outline clear therapeutic goals with a client and sever the relationship when they are accomplished? Or should the patient and therapist instead come to a renegotiating point and decide on a new set of goals? I suppose it partly depends on the patient's pocket book. Seems to me the primary distinction between a psychotherapist and a coach is wound up with Maslow's hierarchy of needs, with mental health being more fundamental than the support of a coach (however invaluable that might be).

She continues:

I ask myself: What right do I have to see people who no longer have anything wrong with them?" Plenty is my response to myself. If someone wants to pay out of pocket for the coaching they receive from me, I would feel wrong to dismiss them. Instead, we discuss the situation with clear heads. There is no "EST" [empirically supported psychotherapy] designed for this phase of "psychotherapy" that I engage in, or at least not one I know about.

It is my secret (and now not-so-secret) wish to gather empirical data supporting the treatments used in spiritual psychology so they can make their way into mainstream psychology. I have anecdotal evidence coming out of my ears that these skills and practices change the lives of already healthy people. The scientist in me is hungry for research. Call it a sick affinity for academic papers, if you will, but I attempting to honor my roots and integrate them with the applied studies I am now passionate about. This is one of 48 items on my "someday / maybe" list.

So what do your therapist and your barber have in common?

I often think that currently, the therapist is taking on the role of the small town minister, or the wise old person in a community, a tribe. Maybe the therapist is taking on a role and function that the hair dresser used to fill. In my mother's generation, people went to the hair dresser every week for a shampoo. In their time in the chair, they talk about their families and all of their problems.

Before I started my first full-time job in customer service, a wise person said to me, "People just want to feel heard." Those guiding words, along with my training at USM, have made a permanent improvement in the way I listen to people. One thing I know. Whether it's a hairdresser, executive coach, or licensed psychologist, somewhere in Maslow's triangle, not sure if it's filed under love, belonging, esteem, or self-actualization really, but somewhere in there, people need listeners.

I dedicate this post to all the listeners in my life, with gratitude.

Make it a habit to be loyal to the activities that serve the highest part of you and to the attitudes that bring you joy and happiness.

- John-Roger

I've found myself getting caught up in my emotional drama lately. It's all self-generated. No situation or circumstance outside of me created it. So while it might be easy to point the finger at my busy schedule, my shifting priorities, or some major changes on the horizon, I know better than to fuel the fire by casting blame, either outward or inward.

The sense of urgency, upset, and confusion is all mine and I'm owning it. I can actually relax into my own upset when it appears. By accepting whatever experience I am having, whether pleasant and loving or not, the experience itself is transformed by the quality of "okayness" that I bring to it. I've been amazed by how well this simple shift works.

Muck and mire

So I've been wading around in some muck that I created for myself... So what? Does that mean I have dominion over it more than if I were the victim? No, not really. My experience is my experience is my experience. Taking ownership of my feelings is a powerful start, but it still remains important to allow feelings to be as they are.

Ever notice how emotions can feel like the "end-all and the be-all" when we are in them? Then a few years, a few months, even a few minutes later, they vanish like clouds disintegrating in the sun. I don't know about you, but that's how mine operate.

So what do we do with clouds when they show up? How do we relate to them? Do I stick out my tongue to catch the rain drops? Do I put on my hiking shoes and hunt rainbows? Do I build a fire inside and trust that the warmth of self loving kindness will sustain me through the storm? Or do I listen to the rain, allowing soothing words to whisper subtle messages in my ears?

When faced with clouds

Here is a sample from my current checklist for reestablishing peace within. I keep the complete list with me everywhere I go because I know that when I need it most I'm least likely to remember these strategies. This really is just a small sample that's relevant now. I encourage everyone in creating their own personal list of what reconnects you to your heart.

• Move the body, move the emotions - yoga
  
• Visualize the big picture
  
• Deep breathing
  
• Be here now
  
• Accessing intuition
  
• Accept and honor the drama
  
• See the situation as a comedy
  
• Compassion for "the victim" within

I'll leave you with some words of wisdom about the true nature of the Soul, the part of us that doesn't get caught up in the sound and fury.

Joy is inherent through the Soul.

When you have joy - when this happiness just comes up inside of you - then no matter what you do or say or become out there, this center of calm and happiness is not disturbed because it is what it is.

Therein is your fulfillment for being on this physical level.
- John-Roger