Entries by Lisa Parry

Summer is waning. I just came home from a gorgeous evening of playful and profound stories set to sweet melodies and heart-throbbing percussion. It was Beyond Words: An Evening of Divine Poetry by Tamsin Rothschild, with music by Milo Page and Ron Beimel.

The title of the show perfectly captures Tamsin’s ability to transcend language by unabashedly revealing her heart on stage. I’ve seen her in other appearances both poetic and theatrical, but in this show she has outdone herself. The title “Beyond Words” also reminded me that I have recently found myself speechless about my precious experiences at a 28-day Insight IV seminar, and the six-day culminating experience of the Master’s in spiritual psychology at USM. Since graduating from USM at Royce Hall last Sunday, I’ve been fielding innocent questions from friends who want to know what I gained from “The Summer of 2007”. While I hesitate to encapsulate it in words, I am prompted now to share a key that rang true once more tonight.

What goes beyond words? In yoga this weekend, Kira prompted me to reflect on the concept of prana, chi, and “this increasingly nebulous word, energy.” Energy speaks louder than the language of tongues, and that is why Tamsin’s poetry has mass appeal. She transcends demographics and transforms the listener. Her poetry is a tapestry of intimate human experiences finely woven with her natural knowing of the divine truth that resonates in every heart.

As I listened, I remembered a truth that I gleaned this summer: when one speaks from the heart, people listen. Any experienced presenter can advise that when you go up “in your head”, the audience tunes out and the performance looses momentum. Getting the information straight is but a tiny fraction of communication. Out beyond words is the place where we detect subtle shifts in the inner environment of the presenter. Being present is far more important than technical accuracy. Totally independent of the speaker’s skill level or whether or not they have something compelling to say, the one quality that reigns supreme is heart. Does the speaker have heart.

On Sunday, I received the treat of hearing world-renown author Jean Houston address my graduating class during the commencement exercises, and also in a private talk before the ceremony. She filled the great hall with a huge energy, one I can only compare to the statue of someone like Martin Luther King, Jr. She came armed with well-crafted words, a voice of silken strength and clockwork timing. She strode up on stage and showed us what major league looks like. But far beyond her skill as an orator (as Robert dubbed her), was her presence. Simply put, it all came together because she had heart.

So it is a lovely thing this evening to reflect on how universal this principle of heart is. Tonight a much less daunting but equally magnificent poet moved me to tears in an intimate little theater. Tamsin offered a window into her very being. This confirms my suspicion that it takes great courage to be a poet, for poetry can only blossom under the light of authenticity. Alive and vulnerable, she held me captivated throughout. I delighted in her wit and childlike wonder, and felt my heart strewn across the black stage by words of longing, poignancy, and most of all, awakening.

If you have ever heard a speaker, a poet, or a performer who offered their heart through their words, you may know what it means to have someone speaking directly into your heart. Your mind flits about catching stray words while something much deeper inside of you soaks in affirmations of what you already know. In true communication, we are brought together as one. This is the greater purpose beyond words. As I continue along my path as a presenter of words, let me set my course here and now: May I always courageously call out the truth, and may I always speak with heart.

In awareness, figure out what is going on with you inside.
As you start to go toward "your future" in the form of
another person, another relationship, another financial
venture, another job, or another physical location, are you
going forward, as you are right now?

Or are you going forward into fantasyville in order to
escape from a feeling of loss, which may be based on past
experiences? Before you get with that reactive elevator or
yo-yo, it can help you to recognize that an external
situation will not solve an internal conflict.

- John-Roger

One of the questions I hear most often is about when to do the weekly review. A regular review of all your outstanding agreements is one of the most powerful activities you can do to maintain perspective and increase relaxation. When you should do it is a case-by-case answer, thus most productivity experts hesitate to dictate a rule about it. So let's talk about the different options you might consider, based on your specific job considerations. Then I leave it to you to use your natural knowing to decide.

I. What time of day should I do my review?

People have different preferences for various times of day. Many people have the most energy available first thing in the morning, in the evening, or late at night. I have never encountered anyone who has a peak in energy in the mid-afternoon (without the use of caffeine). I suspect this is because most people have just eaten lunch, have been working for a significant amount of time, and the warmth of the day invites sleep. Whatever the reason, my main suggestion here is to avoid the afternoon (despite how easy it can be to put the review off until later, later, later.)

Choose a time to do your strategic planning and reviewing that fits your energy level. Find out if you are a morning person or a night person, and do the review accordingly. If you are low on energy or feeling bored, do not do the review. Go for a walk, take a break, or water a plant. You will thank yourself for the gift of a focused review, which frees up new ideas and creative energy.

II. What day of the week should I do my review?

Friday - The most popular day of the week to do the review. Pros: you are relaxed and clear going in to your weekend, you get an opportunity to review nearly everything you completed during the previous work week, and it prepares you to start again on Monday with a clean working system. Cons: little opportunity to follow up on Waiting For items since the work week is almost over, and you may uncover items which would have been more strategically handled earlier in the week.

Thursday - Thursday has gained a loyal following amongst some GTD users because it answers the problem of the Friday review, giving you plenty of time to follow up with colleagues, Waiting For items, and to complete any essential projects you made need to do before the end of the work week. In addition, some people have discovered that by doing their review the day before their colleagues do theirs, they feel "ahead of the game." Be careful not to get too immersed in that game! The disadvantage of a Thursday would simply be not being as close to the weekend when you get that breath of fresh air.

Monday - I only recommend a Monday review in two cases: 1) you didn't get to the review on Friday or 2) The week ahead looks challenging and some brilliant stroke of prioritizing could be your life raft. If you see a week coming up that contains particularly critical work, you might use the weekly review to clear the decks, and your mind. The basic part of human consciousness likes seeing all of our agreements objectified, and once it has that it can then support and cooperate with your priorities.

Sunday - Many executives and CEOs prefer a Sunday review because it adds a quality of leisure to the process. There's nothing wrong with using little tricks to get yourself into the discipline of the review, or any habit for that matter. Some tricks I have seen work well for people: wear a special outfit, reward yourself with your favorite drink, play your favorite piece of music, plan a just-for-fun activity directly after the review, or incorporate self-appreciation and nurturing activities into the review itself. You can do a "Sunday Review" anytime during the week. But the culturally-approved structure of weekdays and weekends seems to make it easier to access relaxed focus after normal business hours.

In summary:

Know that you are uniquely capable of managing your energy level based on the time of day, the day of the week, and your "hard landscape" (commitments on the calendar). Choose times that work for you to do strategic review and planning. Be willing to adjust according to the feedback your body gives you. Make it enjoyable. The review is your opportunity to close the loop on all of your agreements, and acknowledge yourself as you acknowledge your current reality.

How to get back to black-belt productivity in less than one hour

The best way to defeat overwhelm is to do a Weekly Review. But what happens when you are over committed and don't have time for a review? What do you do then? Here is a process for getting back into relaxed control in less than one hour.

Step 1: Dump

Take a deep breath. If you don't have very much time to gather information and you feel overwhelmed, chances are you have been keeping vital information in your head (not your system.) That's okay, we all fall off the wagon from time to time. The key now is to get all those reminders out of your head. Do a mindsweep into a text document on your computer. A mindsweep means list every idea on a separate line without editing, processing, or organizing. There doesn't need to be a hierarchy, that step comes later. Spend about 10-15 minutes on this step, or do it until you feel a sense of relief.

Step 2: Discern

Take another deep breath. Using the GTD model, you would process these items into a trusted system that includes a calendar, tasks and project lists, and various reference systems. For now you are going to create a temporary system to ensure that all of your agreements are visible to you when you need them: right now. Take the list you just made and divide it into two sections:

Actionable

Anything you need to take action on in the next 24 hours goes on your "today" list, or your calendar as a day-specific action. These are the things that truly have your attention and are pulling on your psychic ram. Organize them on a single list, and do not worry about prioritizing. The absolute key you must use to make this work: be realistic with yourself. There are only 24 hours in a day. If you over commit once more, then you have defeated the purpose of this exercise. This is about being kind to yourself. Schedule in the most important items, and let anything else fall by the wayside for now.

Non-Actionable

These things are on your mind, but you don't need to handle them urgently. Some of them are "Someday / Maybe" items, such as creative projects or adventures you would like to have when you get more time, money or resources. To get instant relief, look at all of these items and consciously tell yourself, "I am choosing not to do this right now." Be realistic with yourself so you can keep your word. Now take this non-actionable list and print it out. Toss it into your inbox and schedule a time within the next 48 hours that you will be able to process that list into your trusted GTD system. It is important that you pay attention to these items, but it is also important that you get them out of the way for now. This is called deferring the action until a more appropriate time.

Step 3: Do

Take another deep breath. Now review your daily to-do list and/or calendar. Choose to start an action that will have the biggest payoff for you in this moment. Which item on your list will leave you feeling more energized? Which item on your list creates the biggest relief? Which item are you avoiding or resisting? Only you can know where the greatest value is for you. Trust your instincts.

Step 4: Acknowledge

Appreciate yourself for taking this time to gain perspective. You are doing the best you can with what you've got. Being willing to acknowledge when you are out of control is the key to being able to get back in control more quickly and gracefully each time it happens.

Getting edges around all your stuff is the critical factor for getting into control, and the Weekly Review, done consistently, provides that kind of needed fence. We have to be able to let things get out of control, in the short term. But that’s only possible with a broader parameter that we can trust. - David Allen

There's that moment when you first break the peel of an orange and a little explosion of orange oil squirts out and fills the space with that familiar smell. And of course, when you bite into a wonderful orange the flesh is full and juicy.

What's juicy in your life right now? How can you get some more of that? How can you really enjoy it when you are there?

-Michael Bungay-Stanier

This morsel of coaching reminds me of a project I recently encountered called H-Factor... Where is Your Heart?. Take a moment to check out this extremely cool short film that brought tears to my eyes. Soak in gratitude for your many blessings.

Much like my earlier post, I want to hear from YOU. Comment here and let me know: what is juicy in your life?

What excites you?

"The Lessons of Harry Potter"
As told by Lisa Peake

Laugh if you must, but the latest classic to be added to the bookshelf of history, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, held deeply meaningful lessons for me. At the time of this writing the book has only been published a grand total of four days, therefore I will refrain from giving away any of the essential plot details. What you read now is a glimpse of the proverbs and emotions still swimming in my heart after closing the flame colored hardcover.

Life is precious. I feel it keenly in this moment. Harry Potter is a mythology in which both old and young lives are exposed, risked, and ultimately taken. It is only through the experience of death that we discover how deeply we love life. While Rowling paints memories and precious moments with warm summer days and golden lighting, she captures much more than the picture perfect fantasies of a seventeen year-old. The ups and downs, the triumphs and failures are all there. We see these characters as we see ourselves, and through seeing them, we know our humanity more fully. In moments of extreme danger, courage and truth are revealed.

We cannot have everything we wish for. I have often overheard parents telling their four year-olds, "Life isn’t fair," with great conviction in their tone. Indeed, it is hard to understand life as being "fair" when we have far too little information to comprehend what fair would even taste like. One thing we know: we do not get everything we demand, no matter how deeply we long for it. The stories of Harry and his faithful friends reveal the realities of disappointment. But more importantly, we discover through Harry’s personal journey that the only way out of despair is through.

The process of grief is miraculous and mysterious. Over the past decade of reading these stories I have watched Harry pass through an adolescence riddled with grief, and in that time there have been profound losses in my own life. From small disappointments to dreams wrenched away from my loved ones and myself, these losses have taught me to love my grief as natural and unstoppable. There is something pure and untainted about grief, a swirl of emotions that penetrates everything like the rise and fall of Fawkes’ voice over the lake. I am grateful for grief because it is largely irrepressible, and we would all do well to spend more time in our hearts than heads.

I would like to think that Jo Rowling knew all this and much more. Just as Harry spent much of his youth wishing he could decipher the mind of his great teacher, I too have wondered precisely what Rowling knew that enriched her stories with this unmistakably personal wisdom. In the final pages of the final book, she nourishes us with simple truths:

What is meant to be will be. Whether we like it or not, what is eternal cannot be damaged by any form of magic. Our lives, our stories, our friendships, and most of all, our love continues on beyond the bounds of worldly bodies. Things that we see in our minds, our dreams, and the eyes of our worst enemies, all of these things, live inside of us as real. Take in a breath of fresh air with gratitude. We may not have broomsticks or wands, but here on heavenly earth, we have every opportunity to come of age.