Every now and then I find it’s important to check my lists and systems for areas where I am stuck, sticky, or unclear. I was going through this process with a client today when I mentioned “that part of you that likes to hang out in unclarity.” She stopped me, struck by the concept, and we discussed how tempting it can be to avoid clarity. Why is it that even when we have excellent productivity systems and know the process of getting on track, we sometimes choose, almost consciously, to hang out in the muck?
Hanging out in unclarity is another way of describing the limiting games we play. When
Insight Seminars first introduced me to the idea of limiting games, the simple awareness that some of my behaviors were games was liberating because it meant I had a choice. The more I examine myself and my life, the more I become aware of and free of the games. The games become increasingly subtle, and I become increasingly good at detecting them.
What are the games we tend to play? In the productivity profession, the most insidious game I see is
overwhelm. “I’m too busy.” “I’m too stressed.” “It’s too much.” “I won’t be able to…” I don’t let my clients get away with buying into the busy game, the feeling of overwhelm, or not having enough time to live a fulfilling life. Those are all just stories we tell ourselves, and challenging them is the key to opening up to greater abundance, relaxation, and joy.
How do we get out of unclarity, get unstuck, and start moving? I like to work the problem from three angles.
1. We gather the best possible tools to stay productive and focused in our work and lives. We clarify all our commitments and objectives in a trusted system so we can see things for what they are, no more and no less.
2. Then we gather as many uplifting and supportive tools and friends as we can muster. Self-forgiveness.
Free-form writing. Uplifting music. Positive self-talk. Self-nurturing. To name a very few. If you have other ideas about how to pull yourself up by the bootstraps,
email me.
3. We keep reminding ourselves of the automatic benefits that come with being clear and courageous. Remind yourself, as often as needed, that you have a choice. Set yourself up for success.
I spend the better part of my life helping people take themselves from unclear to clear. But why do we do it to ourselves in the first place? The simple answer: because we’re human. We limit ourselves with behaviors and games that may have served us in some way in the past, but don’t anymore. We evolve much too quickly for old habits to keep up with us.